Bounty Edge Past Hart – Just!

The Team

1) Stefan “Chopper” Stanton

2) Stuart “Power” Purdy

3) Chris “TinTin” Locks

4) Gareth “Gayboy” Sutton

5) Rob ” The Dog V1″ Barker

The Firsts were up against some tough opposition in Bounty, with their recent performances leaving them in second place. So not a good match to be without our number 1 string!

Never the less Gayboy took to the challenge like a rat up a drainpipe dispatching his opponent quickly 3-0, he even found time to prepare a tasty bagel in the third.

Meanwhile Power had taken to the court with a game plan that was pretty similar to all of his other efforts – ‘I will hit the ball so hard that it bursts’. This definitely caught his opponent out in the first game with Power crushing out a 1-0 lead leaving his opponent looking quite dazed. Unfortunately, his opponent snapped out of it in the second and third, taking these games fairly comfortably with some deft touch and deep length. By the start of the fourth the balcony had already accepted a 3-1 loss but Power obviously hadn’t read the script managing to dig in and crush the ball about the court with minimal errors and managed to steal the fourth game. The renewed scent of victory had brought a palpable sense of tension to the balcony & Power obviously sensed it too – he took a leaf out of Tin-Tin’s book and pumped the first four points into the tin, which proved to be a deficit that he couldn’t recover, falling at the last hurdle 3-2

Tin-Tin was up against a tricky opponent who had a veritable repertoire of shots at his disposal, resulting in Tin-Tin spending most of his time chasing trickle boasts and lobs. The first three games went on in this way but remained close with Tin-Tin going into the fourth only just trailing 2-1. But then in true Tin-Tin style he opened his account in the fourth game with four tins and much like Power, this proved too much of a deficit to pull back. Tin-Tin falling 3-1.

Choppers match was played in true chopper style; short rallies, lots of attempted nicks, – and in the first quite a few of them came off, – but his opponent hit more clinching the first 10-9. In the following two games Chopper couldn’t quite get stuck in with his opponent making the game look far too easy taking the next 2 games in a very poser-esque style (ie couldn’t have looked any more casual). Chopper not up to scratch losing 3-0

Last up, we welcomed back to the squad the Dog V1 who started well, taking a commanding lead racing through the first two games with a display of shots that Chopper would be proud of. However the Dog got a little tired in the third and decided to take a nap. Luckily after one game of rest he was ready to play again, crossing the winning line 3-1.

So all in all a valiant attempt but we couldn’t quite steal the result losing overall 15-9.

MotM goes to the Dog because we can’t give it to Gayboy for mercilessly disposing of his opponent. We are more honorable than that….

The Expeditionary Team has Encounter with Pig Farmer

The team for this expedition:-

1) Paul K  2) Simon  3) Elliott  4) Paul (Dog2)  5) Mac

So we trekked the 50 odd miles down the M4 to Hungerford, only to be greeted by a deserted leisure centre and no opposition.  Having had a few moments to acclimatise to the altitude of the viewing gallery, the opposition turned up (minus their regular one and two – hooray!) and the match began….

Dog2 started on the court with the corner door and the dodgy front wall crease and eased into a 2-0 lead.  Despite the ranting and screaming coming from Elliott’s adjacent court, a bit of a Dog2-nap took place in the 3rd, a couple of errors at 7-7 and a fourth game beckoned.  Normal service then resumed, Dog2 closing the match out at a canter.  3-1 win for Hart.

Meanwhile Elliott, as mentioned above, was attempting to play within himself.  Unfortunately for the first two games he only managed to play without himself.  This was all too evident to those in the gallery, who now had to deal with the combined unpleasant effects of both altitude sickness and the reverberating ear-pain of Elliott’s self-berating.  All was not lost though, as characteristically, Elliott found some form in the 3rd and swept his opponent aside.  Roll-forward some 20 minutes or so and Elliott was 2-2 and 7-something up only for the wheels to come off once more.  No way back this time and Elliott slumped to a disappointing 3-2 defeat.

Simon followed Dog2 on court and had an up-and-down game against an awkward opponent.  This ebbed and flowed as both players had good and bad patches.  At 2 games each, Simon knuckled down and swept his opponent aside 9-1 (ish) for a satisfying 3-2 win.

Mac was overwhelmed with delight at the prospect of playing the drop-shotting-pig-farmer.  As anyone who has ever seen this fellow on court will testify, it’s not something that you’d imagine most people would choose to drive 50 miles for.  Mac employed a strategy of belting his serve as hard as possible in an attempt to make those inevitable drop-shot returns, rebound a fraction further off the front wall.  This

was broadly successful and Mac found himself 2-1 up.  Not wishing to be drawn in to a 5th game, Mac then proceeded to lose the 4th!  Game 5 and the strategy found it’s mark, together with a few drop-shots of his own and some trademark boasts, Mac triumphed 3-2 and sealed the match for Hart.

Paul K went on last against a very tasty opponent.  Despite Paul’s claim that he “couldn’t have hit a barn door with a banjo”, there was no shame in picking up only a handful points.  Paul went down 3-0, his only consolation being the acquisition of a racket-restring job to offset his match fee.

Overall a great 3-2 (16-11) win for Hart 2nds.

Man of the match automatically and unanimously awarded to Mac for having to play the pig-farmer.

Recognition for Ash

After a long hard season during the cold winter months.  I can now formally announce the winner of the Hart Squash Club – Winter league “Man of the Match”.

After all votes were counted and independently verified, the winners are:

3rd Place

Pete Webb – Superb performances and feedback such as:
For dealing with the most awkward opponent and getting the least satisfactory match.
Clinical performance, never gave his lady opponent a chance to settle
A determined win that gave us some respect, when everyone else lost

2nd Place

Simon Wood – Mr Consistent and talisman for the 2nd team:
Simon for getting the only point of the evening and for playing with man-flu!
For digging deep in his long victory and sealing the match
No winners tonight, but consensus was that it should go to Simon for playing well for 2 games and getting 2 points.

1st Place

Ashley Smith – Man of the match performances for both the 2nd and 3rd team:
For playing against and beating Gordon Buckingham 3~0
Man of the match to Ashley for only swearing once this week
Clinical performance at 1, and our only winner

Well done to everyone.